I Went to Visit My Son on Christmas Day

Christmas is my favorite time of year. This year…it would be very different. I have experienced difficult Christmases in the past, but this year would be the most dreaded to date. It would be one of my family’s “firsts”. It would be our first Christmas since my oldest son, Bryant, had died. We lost him July 7th. Although I knew it was going to be painful, I still wanted to make it special for the rest of my kids. As we got within just a couple of days of Christmas, we were faced with quite a bit of “rearranging” with our scheduled family gatherings. I will spare you all the details, but with all of that, I would find myself realizing it was suddenly Christmas Day and I needed to see my Bryant. My baby boy, Landon, was with me as I drove through town. “Hey, I want to go by the cemetery. Please go with me,” I pleaded. “I don’t feel like crying today, Mom,” Landon replied. Not wanting to pressure him, I relented and just resigned to take him home and go back alone. At the last second, Landon changed his mind. He felt the need to go. As I drove toward the beautifully kept cemetery my mind kept replaying the latter part of Isaiah 9:6. “Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” I said to Him,“This verse has never been more real to me, God, especially Prince of Peace.” He is truly all these things. I turned left into the memorial park to visit my boy. As I parked in the circle parking area that was nearest to Bryant’s grave.Another car was parked in front of me, but I saw noone. Thinking nothing of it, Landon and I walked to our spot. After just a couple of minutes, Landon returned to the car. It was still too difficult for him to stay for long. I stood investigating the dirt work at the foot of his grave. There had been some “sinking” spots and Bryant’s grave marker, bearing his initials, had begun to shift. I could tell they had been out there and repaired it. It was comforting to know they were taking care of him. As I gazed at his headstone, I began to sing to him…O Holy Night…my favorite Christmas song. “Fall on your knees. Oh, hear the angel voices. Oh night divine, oh night, when Christ was born.” As I got to the end of the song, I debated whether or not to go “up” at the end, concerned someone might hear. I decided to “go for it” and sing the high notes. So what if someone was around to hear it. I wanted to sing my best for my Bryant. Tears began to flow. It was still so surreal. The sting of the pain of reality shot through my bones. I,again, told him how much I loved him and missed him. As I continued to weep, I heard footsteps. Assuming Landon had returned, I didn’t bother to turn around. Suddenly, I realized there were two sets of footsteps. My mind raced to figure out who it could be. Each approached me from a different side.They, too, were weeping. Finally, I caught a glimpse of the man on my left. I was stunned. Glancing to my right, I realized it was his wife. We just embraced one another and wept together. After several minutes, I asked them why in the world they were there. Jeff tried to speak. His voice still broken, he attempted to share with me what brought them there. Jeff said that two nights earlier, he went home and told Anne that the Lord had told him they were to go to the cemetery on Christmas Day. There was someone He wanted them to love on. My mind was blown! With all of the cemetery choices, they had settled on this one. A little over an hour had passed as they waited for God’s “one”. Looking at the grave of someone they knew, Anne recalled out loud to Jeff that she thought this was where Bryant was buried. They aided a lady in finding a grave as well, but she showed no signs of distress. They continued to wait for God’s “one”. Finally, Anne recognized my car. She noticed Landon sitting in it. Then, she saw me at a distance standing over Bryant’s grave. The University of Alabama marker was the definite giveaway. It was me! I was the one! God had me on His mind! Of all the cemeteries… of all the hours in the day…only my God could orchestrate such events. What an incredible divine appointment! I’m still on a high from the experience. He is truly near to the broken-hearted. Oh, how He lavishes His love on us! Even when His plan includes pain, He will move mountains to show us He is near. So…however deep the pain…however dark the days…If we will acknowledge Him, He will make Himself evident. 

Happy New Year and may 2016 be your most blessed year ever…In Jesus’ name.